You know, pornography can be rather insidious. Not only is it insidious, but now it is almost warmly accepted as just "the way things are."
The other day in my research I stumbled across a site that attests to what I just wrote last week from Paul's Pornified. If a man at any time feels down, angry, frustrated, emasculated, lonely, sad, slighted, ignored, rejected, he is a few clicks away from "feeling all better."
The site is... dare I say it... because free advertising is not really what I want to be in the game of here. Anyway, the place's site for free porn clips (substantial porn clips... anywhere from a few minutes to 30) has the most telling tagline ever. And here it is...
"Unleash Your Daily Anger"
That's right men... You are entitled to feel better. Why shouldn't you? All you have to do to feel better about yourself is to watch big, strong, manly men "stick it women". Over and over again, for free.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dangerous Games And the Part Women Play!
The "rant" below is for everyone, but dedicated to Wizard. It is from a response to Utah Savage's magnificient March 31st 2008 "Aging Barbie" post several months ago.
******************************************************
Its a dangerous game we women play. We want in the "game" so badly... we want to have access to power and the only power we can really have is that constructed for us--power as desirable, beautiful, feminine objects.So, it is a conundrum for women. It is not simple. If you want to be able to have power, you become obsessed with "the ideal"... the ever elusive ideal. So, women are forced to chase their tail, never ever catching it.
We are set up to fail... so many billions made off of our obsession to attain access to power. Cosmetics, billions, Cosmetic surgeries, billions, shampoo/body wash, billions....And, if women are "lucky" enough to attain the "perfect image," she is also seen as a whore, as vain, as unintelligent, and she probably has starved to a point she has probably killed brain cells... so she may legitimately not be very smart.
Think of how much time women spend on "getting ready." Most women need 1-3 hours to "perfect" themselves. What do men spend? 10 minutes? How do they spend the 2+ hours we spend on frivolity? How much more educated, read, physically active, relaxed do they get to be in the time we spend trying to be presentable?Oh, who am I kidding, they spend the time whacking it to plastic barbies we can never be without a shitload of dinero and an eagerness to become porn stars. Self entitled men (which is most I would argue) feed off of our images and gain more power by degrading us.
So... if we actually attain the access to power... if we are able to starve, shave, cut, and design our face and bodies to be exactly what society wants, then we really only have a false sense of power because we have lost ourselves. And, its fleeting. Intelligence lasts a lifetime, youthful looks do not.What have we lost while we have prioritized beautifying ourselves? What have we lost out on? Who have we become? And worse, how have we fed the beast (culture) further?
For every woman who teeters on high heels, wears strappy dresses in dead of winter... for every woman who increases her breasts 4 sizes and saunters around with musk melons... for every woman who cares more about fashion than comfort... for every woman who posts pics or videos of herself as object... for every woman who designs (I say cuts) her vagina...for every woman who plies on a mask before exiting her home... you teach and shape what every other woman thinks she needs to be as well.
So... just say fuck it, right? Just be yourself and stop this hideous phenomenon, right? Wrong. Because if you do not play by the rules, you are absolutely nothing. No one sees you. No one hears you. And worst of all, in context of our society... no one fucking wants you.
***********************************************
A post on legalizing prostitution will be forthcoming. Look for it and thank, Wizard for prompting me!
******************************************************
Its a dangerous game we women play. We want in the "game" so badly... we want to have access to power and the only power we can really have is that constructed for us--power as desirable, beautiful, feminine objects.So, it is a conundrum for women. It is not simple. If you want to be able to have power, you become obsessed with "the ideal"... the ever elusive ideal. So, women are forced to chase their tail, never ever catching it.
We are set up to fail... so many billions made off of our obsession to attain access to power. Cosmetics, billions, Cosmetic surgeries, billions, shampoo/body wash, billions....And, if women are "lucky" enough to attain the "perfect image," she is also seen as a whore, as vain, as unintelligent, and she probably has starved to a point she has probably killed brain cells... so she may legitimately not be very smart.
Think of how much time women spend on "getting ready." Most women need 1-3 hours to "perfect" themselves. What do men spend? 10 minutes? How do they spend the 2+ hours we spend on frivolity? How much more educated, read, physically active, relaxed do they get to be in the time we spend trying to be presentable?Oh, who am I kidding, they spend the time whacking it to plastic barbies we can never be without a shitload of dinero and an eagerness to become porn stars. Self entitled men (which is most I would argue) feed off of our images and gain more power by degrading us.
So... if we actually attain the access to power... if we are able to starve, shave, cut, and design our face and bodies to be exactly what society wants, then we really only have a false sense of power because we have lost ourselves. And, its fleeting. Intelligence lasts a lifetime, youthful looks do not.What have we lost while we have prioritized beautifying ourselves? What have we lost out on? Who have we become? And worse, how have we fed the beast (culture) further?
For every woman who teeters on high heels, wears strappy dresses in dead of winter... for every woman who increases her breasts 4 sizes and saunters around with musk melons... for every woman who cares more about fashion than comfort... for every woman who posts pics or videos of herself as object... for every woman who designs (I say cuts) her vagina...for every woman who plies on a mask before exiting her home... you teach and shape what every other woman thinks she needs to be as well.
So... just say fuck it, right? Just be yourself and stop this hideous phenomenon, right? Wrong. Because if you do not play by the rules, you are absolutely nothing. No one sees you. No one hears you. And worst of all, in context of our society... no one fucking wants you.
***********************************************
A post on legalizing prostitution will be forthcoming. Look for it and thank, Wizard for prompting me!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Pornified Culture
Am reading Pornified by Pamela Paul, and I am struck by how often what I am reading echoes what I have lamented for so long.
I also am so tired of not finding the time to write on this blog that I have determined that I am not going to wait around for the "perfect" thing to say. I tend to stew over items and then get overwhelmed by how much there is to say, especially on gender constructions and items which fall under that such as Pornography. So, instead, I am going to write one or a few things that trouble or move me and then if it gets me going, fine. If that's all there is, well, that's all there is, folks!
So, the latest thing in Paul's Pornified that made me nod and nod until I felt like I had some disease is the concept of how often times porn is not just an assist to masturbation. Rather, it is a way for men to validate and dominate. If anything goes wrong in their real world, they can save face by reverting to a fantasy world where every woman will bow and suck them off. Ah, finally, I AM better than somebody else. A Pornified world is one in which any man can get any woman and she will love every fucking (no pun intended) minute of it. Men love such a world because its easy, because it releases the frustration from all the women who do spurn/reject them, and it validates them as men. What is almost sad is that they have no idea the destruction they do to themselves let alone women.
Here is an astute quote from Ms. Paul, "The women in pornography exist in order to please men, and are therefore willing to do anything. They will dominate or act submissive. They can play dumb or talk back, moan quietly or scream, cry in anger or in pleasure. They will accommodate whatever a man wants them to do, be it anal sex, double penetration, or multiple orgasms. The porn star is always responsive; she would never complain about a man being late or taking too long to come. Her hair never gers trapped under his elbow or her thighs never tire. She's easily aroused, naturally and consistently orgasmic, and malleable. She is what he wants her to be. She's a cheerleader, a nurse, a dominatrix, a nymphomaniac, a virgin, a teenager, your best friend's mother. She is every woman who was ever out of your league. She's the girl next door, the prom queen, the hot teacher, the supermodel, the celebrity. She is every woman who ever did the rejecting. She used to be a lesbian, she used to be frigid, she used to be afraid of sex. She is every woman who cannot be had. Now she loves sex, she can't get enough of it; she can't get enough of sex with you. She is every woman who should appreciate you."
Ironically, men use porn to feel better about who they are. To dominate when they feel oppressed. Only the pathetic would use such a crutch and not even realize its a crutch.
I also am so tired of not finding the time to write on this blog that I have determined that I am not going to wait around for the "perfect" thing to say. I tend to stew over items and then get overwhelmed by how much there is to say, especially on gender constructions and items which fall under that such as Pornography. So, instead, I am going to write one or a few things that trouble or move me and then if it gets me going, fine. If that's all there is, well, that's all there is, folks!
So, the latest thing in Paul's Pornified that made me nod and nod until I felt like I had some disease is the concept of how often times porn is not just an assist to masturbation. Rather, it is a way for men to validate and dominate. If anything goes wrong in their real world, they can save face by reverting to a fantasy world where every woman will bow and suck them off. Ah, finally, I AM better than somebody else. A Pornified world is one in which any man can get any woman and she will love every fucking (no pun intended) minute of it. Men love such a world because its easy, because it releases the frustration from all the women who do spurn/reject them, and it validates them as men. What is almost sad is that they have no idea the destruction they do to themselves let alone women.
Here is an astute quote from Ms. Paul, "The women in pornography exist in order to please men, and are therefore willing to do anything. They will dominate or act submissive. They can play dumb or talk back, moan quietly or scream, cry in anger or in pleasure. They will accommodate whatever a man wants them to do, be it anal sex, double penetration, or multiple orgasms. The porn star is always responsive; she would never complain about a man being late or taking too long to come. Her hair never gers trapped under his elbow or her thighs never tire. She's easily aroused, naturally and consistently orgasmic, and malleable. She is what he wants her to be. She's a cheerleader, a nurse, a dominatrix, a nymphomaniac, a virgin, a teenager, your best friend's mother. She is every woman who was ever out of your league. She's the girl next door, the prom queen, the hot teacher, the supermodel, the celebrity. She is every woman who ever did the rejecting. She used to be a lesbian, she used to be frigid, she used to be afraid of sex. She is every woman who cannot be had. Now she loves sex, she can't get enough of it; she can't get enough of sex with you. She is every woman who should appreciate you."
Ironically, men use porn to feel better about who they are. To dominate when they feel oppressed. Only the pathetic would use such a crutch and not even realize its a crutch.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Silly Quizzes-But I like the result!
Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
You are Wonder Woman
| You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
A Trip to my Neighbors
A seemingly nice neighbor let J and I borrow tables for a garage sale we had a few weeks ago. Upon returning them to his garage, I noticed the back walls plastered with women of perfection. Luckily, they were scantily clad women and not of the buck naked variety. Lucky?
This moment caused me to go into an hour-long reflection and rant with my husband. Notice, I did say with and not at, for J is in agreement about the objectification of women. Our moment together at the neighbor's made him recall one of his earliest moments exposed to pornographic images. He was 10 and was left in an mechanic's office while his mom's car was being worked on. Not a private office mind you, but rather one where customers met to discuss initial problems regarding their vehicles. J disclosed how the first monthly image (it was a calendar proudly hanging from a wall in plain view) was a woman standing with her rear hanging out of a "mini" skirt; however, each month deterioriated until the women were splayed out, with every inch of their body visible.
J was 10, but that was not even his earliest exposure, however. He had witnessed not-so-scrambled Playboy channel at 8, unscrambled at 10. The worst exposure of the lot, however, happened upon a trip he took to his neighbor's at age 12, where every magazine known to the top three pornography companies sat collecting dust in boxes, ready for eager pre-pubescent hands. And, the 14 year old neighbor was only to glad to share hard core films to boot. Then the internet hit, where any boy of any age can find any thing he wants at any minute he wishes it, and sometimes even when he does not wish it.
What kind of people are we? We act as if we are better than other countries. We sit, self righteous, and bemoan how other country's treat their women. Be it shrouded in a veil or removed from all clothes, we should not kid ourselves. Our society does not respect women, we degrade them. Sure, women do not have to follow 10 feet behind while walking down the street, but they better be sure they look hot and desirable on their trek.
Interestingly, as Ariel Levy points out in her Female Chauvinist Pigs, there is a growing number of women who eagerly wear this degradation, for it is the only access to power women have here in America. The more sexualized and wanton we are, the only attention--negative or not--we "earn." Women are sexual commodities, but before we are "bought," our sexuality has buying power.
Anyway, Ariel Levy's astute commentary on the new trend of women who actively objectify themselves is a post for another time. Here, I want to finish on how absurd it is to display women for their sexual parts.
Imagine walking in to get your car worked on and seeing a calendar of demure naked men, begging to be oogled. Wouldn't this be absurd?
And before you say, "hey I have seen those beefcake calendars," let me argue that that hardly counts. It is inane to objectify men, but look closely at those images. Those "firefighter" or beefcake calendars reiterate positive male characteristics, making men look manly, muscular, tough. Not about making them look like sex kittens who can't wait to be ravaged.
Imagine driving down the road looking for a place to eat and you see a new restaurant opening: COCKS. COCKS and their half naked men selling hot dogs outsells the leading Hooters and their wings by leaps and bounds. Absurd?
Imagine coming over to my house to bring me back the sugar you borrowed and you walk through a garage with penises plastered to the walls. Absurd?
Yes, it is absurd. But don't worry. Upon a trip to my house, you will not see gargantuan cocks displayed on my garage walls. I have too much respect for humanity for that. Sometimes I wish I did not. Perhaps if we all woke up and saw men displayed as we now display women, people would wake up to how absurd it all really is.
This moment caused me to go into an hour-long reflection and rant with my husband. Notice, I did say with and not at, for J is in agreement about the objectification of women. Our moment together at the neighbor's made him recall one of his earliest moments exposed to pornographic images. He was 10 and was left in an mechanic's office while his mom's car was being worked on. Not a private office mind you, but rather one where customers met to discuss initial problems regarding their vehicles. J disclosed how the first monthly image (it was a calendar proudly hanging from a wall in plain view) was a woman standing with her rear hanging out of a "mini" skirt; however, each month deterioriated until the women were splayed out, with every inch of their body visible.
J was 10, but that was not even his earliest exposure, however. He had witnessed not-so-scrambled Playboy channel at 8, unscrambled at 10. The worst exposure of the lot, however, happened upon a trip he took to his neighbor's at age 12, where every magazine known to the top three pornography companies sat collecting dust in boxes, ready for eager pre-pubescent hands. And, the 14 year old neighbor was only to glad to share hard core films to boot. Then the internet hit, where any boy of any age can find any thing he wants at any minute he wishes it, and sometimes even when he does not wish it.
What kind of people are we? We act as if we are better than other countries. We sit, self righteous, and bemoan how other country's treat their women. Be it shrouded in a veil or removed from all clothes, we should not kid ourselves. Our society does not respect women, we degrade them. Sure, women do not have to follow 10 feet behind while walking down the street, but they better be sure they look hot and desirable on their trek.
Interestingly, as Ariel Levy points out in her Female Chauvinist Pigs, there is a growing number of women who eagerly wear this degradation, for it is the only access to power women have here in America. The more sexualized and wanton we are, the only attention--negative or not--we "earn." Women are sexual commodities, but before we are "bought," our sexuality has buying power.
Anyway, Ariel Levy's astute commentary on the new trend of women who actively objectify themselves is a post for another time. Here, I want to finish on how absurd it is to display women for their sexual parts.
Imagine walking in to get your car worked on and seeing a calendar of demure naked men, begging to be oogled. Wouldn't this be absurd?
And before you say, "hey I have seen those beefcake calendars," let me argue that that hardly counts. It is inane to objectify men, but look closely at those images. Those "firefighter" or beefcake calendars reiterate positive male characteristics, making men look manly, muscular, tough. Not about making them look like sex kittens who can't wait to be ravaged.
Imagine driving down the road looking for a place to eat and you see a new restaurant opening: COCKS. COCKS and their half naked men selling hot dogs outsells the leading Hooters and their wings by leaps and bounds. Absurd?
Imagine coming over to my house to bring me back the sugar you borrowed and you walk through a garage with penises plastered to the walls. Absurd?
Yes, it is absurd. But don't worry. Upon a trip to my house, you will not see gargantuan cocks displayed on my garage walls. I have too much respect for humanity for that. Sometimes I wish I did not. Perhaps if we all woke up and saw men displayed as we now display women, people would wake up to how absurd it all really is.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Hillary for Vice President!
I am so sick and tired of hearing all sorts of names floated about for vice president other than Hillary Clinton's. I am also beyond tired of how many bloggers and pundits take it upon themselves to rip into Hillary as they lift someone else up as a "better" choice. There were only two real choices: Barack and Hillary, both splitting the democrat vote nearly in two. If we can't have him, we want her. If we can't have her, we want him. What does that tell you? Put them both on the ticket.
Not too long ago, I heard Gephardt thrown around as a good vice presidential candidate. I think it was in my latest Newsweek and they said that Gephardt appeals to the blue collar workers who wanted Hillary and not Obama. Okay,..... sooooooo, why not Hillary instead of Gephardt? Do you get how absurd that is? He could go with Gephardt because he appeals to the people who want Hillary? Go with Hillary.
Then, I have heard countless bloggers and pundits talk about Wesley Clark... and I hear, "and he is a Clinton supporter. That will make Clinton supporters happy." Um, how about Obama pick Hillary if he wants to make Hillary supporters happy!?!
If she does not want it, fine. But if she wants it, it should be hers. She earned at least the vice presidency. 18 million voters picked her over Barack Obama. I will vote for Barack Obama, but as Hillary gets discussed as a candidate less and less, I find myself getting frustrated all over again. Yeah, you Obama-ites, I'm still sore. Its hard to get over feeling robbed, especially when she gets slighted even for sloppy seconds as well.
And the debate is getting framed as we speak. Everywhere I read, I hear "Obama" and "inexperience" side by side. McCain deftly (the bastard) in the June 16th Newsweek interview: "How to Beat a Rock Star: 'Substance'"made his rhetorical strategy clear. McCain=Right Change; Obama=Wrong Change. He went on to frame the argument as substance vs. eloquence.
I think Obama would make a swell president, but I fear the only person who can beat McCain is Clinton, which is why begging her to be Veep is important.
Write it down, dear readers, so in November, if we lose the presidency yet again to a maniacal Republican, I can at least think to myself through tears, "I told you all so. You should have picked Hillary!
Not too long ago, I heard Gephardt thrown around as a good vice presidential candidate. I think it was in my latest Newsweek and they said that Gephardt appeals to the blue collar workers who wanted Hillary and not Obama. Okay,..... sooooooo, why not Hillary instead of Gephardt? Do you get how absurd that is? He could go with Gephardt because he appeals to the people who want Hillary? Go with Hillary.
Then, I have heard countless bloggers and pundits talk about Wesley Clark... and I hear, "and he is a Clinton supporter. That will make Clinton supporters happy." Um, how about Obama pick Hillary if he wants to make Hillary supporters happy!?!
If she does not want it, fine. But if she wants it, it should be hers. She earned at least the vice presidency. 18 million voters picked her over Barack Obama. I will vote for Barack Obama, but as Hillary gets discussed as a candidate less and less, I find myself getting frustrated all over again. Yeah, you Obama-ites, I'm still sore. Its hard to get over feeling robbed, especially when she gets slighted even for sloppy seconds as well.
And the debate is getting framed as we speak. Everywhere I read, I hear "Obama" and "inexperience" side by side. McCain deftly (the bastard) in the June 16th Newsweek interview: "How to Beat a Rock Star: 'Substance'"made his rhetorical strategy clear. McCain=Right Change; Obama=Wrong Change. He went on to frame the argument as substance vs. eloquence.
I think Obama would make a swell president, but I fear the only person who can beat McCain is Clinton, which is why begging her to be Veep is important.
Write it down, dear readers, so in November, if we lose the presidency yet again to a maniacal Republican, I can at least think to myself through tears, "I told you all so. You should have picked Hillary!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Self Pity and the Image She Wants
So, I thought I would just write from the hip... an overweight hip as it were. Actually, its not my hips that are overweight, but my stomach. Anyway, my tangent for today is that I have been running a tad over 3 miles each day for 3 solid months. Anyone who runs and anyone with kids knows this is no easy feat. Time is an issue, my motivation is an issue, etc. But, still, I trudge out everyday, rain or shine.
I have been running for two reasons... one, I want to be more healthy, and two, I want to be much thinner. Much, Much thinner. Dieting did not work, so I figured I need to get my ass moving. However, my running has not been working either, much to my dismay and shock.
I went to the doctor yesterday because I know people who walk around the block once or twice and lose 10 pounds, so I figured I should talk to my physician. Secretly, I hoped I would get on and see some movement. Something. Nope. Its been 6 weeks since I weighed myself last, and the scale had not budged one single pound. The only change I know created by running is that my legs are harder and leaner and I am no longer one of the most constipated people on the planet. But any sveldt, slim image staring back at me from any reflections? Nope. Nada. Still the ever pudgy me. Depressing.
My doctor did order blood drawn for possible thyroid problems, but his other explanation upon me asking, "Doesn't this shock you... with me running 3 miles a day," was quite disheartening. He retorted, "Not for a woman. Its just plain impossible for many women to lose weight."
Sigh. Heavy, long, large, sigh.
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